Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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