FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize