i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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