That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
