maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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