Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
