I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
