my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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