Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
