If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
whose ass print is on the piano?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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