I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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