so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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