mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
