Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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