dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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