does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
