You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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