Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
