Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
