roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
