This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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