Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
