I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
