pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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