what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
