Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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