areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
