I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
