I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
