i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
