:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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