Christians are straight up FREAKS
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
