My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
