And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
