Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
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