im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
40s are totally the cure
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize