i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have already put on my inside pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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