She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
they need to just BURY HIM!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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