I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
