I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
