I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
