what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
