oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do vagina's smell?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
