i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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