I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
