i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They took my balls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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