girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
