is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
