that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
