He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
