yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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