why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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