kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
