where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
