He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
