Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
