Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
