Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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