What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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